One step forward, two steps back...

"It's 3 am and I've been sitting in front of this computer wondering what I'm doing still awake.  I spent a couple of hours studying, another hour or two writing an article for one site while thinking about and then posting at another.  I promised myself I'd start going to bed at a decent hour... "

That was a conversation I had with myself last week. Since then I've tried to write a post about it and finally gave up. Then after four days of disparaging myself for not living up to my own expectations I've come to one conclusion.  The writer/blogger in me is going to put up a fight. Not one to give in, I just stopped writing altogether.

I surfed the blogosphere, signed up at Pinterest (still debating if that was a good idea, but wow what an amazing site), and yesterday I spent the day looking over some homeschool resources to add to my list of possibilities for next year.  Today I emerge with a somewhat wary sense of my objective.

Of course I could also blame one of my bloggy friends for throwing me a curve ball last week and my son's father for making life so comical (sarcasm) that sent me into a spiritual and emotional upheaval, but then I can't blame someone else for my inability to concentrate.

I read Oh Mandie about needing a compass and could completely relate.  Then Julie's post reminded me of my extensive prayer list for bloggy friends and how I'm mentally involved in their lives, and I had a moment of thoughtful awakening.  Taking two steps back isn't such a bad thing, and maybe it needs to happen more often.

Some of you may be saying, "Seriously, where is Lynda going with this one?"  To be honest I have no idea, but since I have all of 2012 to "organize" my life, I'm taking my own sweet time about doin' it.

One bit of information for all those who work with me closely ~ I'm paring down.  A couple of weeks ago I was accepted to join the TOS Review Crew.  HUGE honor, right?  But I had to say no.  In fact it kind of broke my heart to say no, but it was the right thing for me at this time.  If you'd be interested contact Kate Kessler, the Product Reviews Manager.

Some other changes:

I discontinued the Create in Me a Clean Heart challenge.  I thought this would be a way of keeping myself accountable for my decluttering and cleaning goals, but it became more of a distraction.  I am personally continuing the Devotional for the Disorganized, but now it's between the Lord and I.  Hopefully all those who were joining me will understand, and you are all still on my prayer list.

I'm a little behind on the Zone Defense, but not too far.  Hopefully slowing down in other areas will enable me to focus on this.  There are days where one step forward, two steps back is not a good thing.  As everyone knows housework is never ending.  I'm thinking it's all in my attitude, and my understanding of the real problem.  Answer me this, an empty bookshelf is easy to clean, but I love books.  Is it me or is there something I'm missing, and no little sister I'm not throwing my books out.

My son made a breakthrough with math this week.  Amazing how things just seem to click when you least expect it.  And last but not least, tomorrow I'll be installing LeAnn's new design.  So excited for her!

A few notes (and links) to myself:

Remember when you were going to make a blogging schedule?  (Read about it on Ashley's post, Day Twelve.)  No, didn't think so!  Consider this your kick in the tail!!!

Here are few reminders ~
Editorial Calendar
Make a schedule that works
Focus, focus, focus!
This isn't a race, but a marathon.
Blogging is not the problem, your focus is.

By the way, I link up.

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