Domestic violence, a victim's life

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Have you ever accidentally burned yourself?  Most of us have, or we've seen others who have.  The immediate reaction is to pull away from the offending source of heat.

Now, have you ever participated in an activity that tested your strength or ability to the fullest?  Maybe you've run a marathon or completed a laborious task that left you sore in places you didn't even know you had.

The common denominator is pain, but there is a difference in how the pain was caused.  The burn was unexpected, an incident easily chalked up as a lesson learned.  The other type of pain is self inflicted.  You knew what was coming, and the effort it would take to complete the task.  Maybe you prepared or conditioned your body for the activity.

Pain is pain, but sometimes how it's inflicted makes all the difference.

Not one human being doesn't use heat because they've been burned.  Millions of people cook a meal on a hot stove, and one burn will not make them get rid of the appliance.  Houses burn down, but still there are homes with fireplaces.  We've learned to be careful, or more cautious, of the danger.

On the other hand there are thousands who won't push themselves to do something because 'it's too hard.'  In essence there is a price to pay.  Are you willing to pay it?  Rather than fail at a lofty goal you stick with what you know.  No harm, no foul, you avoided the pain and go on with your life.

Imagine life if every day was an endurance race.

You have no choice, participation is required.  Mentally, physically, and emotionally you're spent, but you're not allowed to stop.  Completely drained you just want to collapse, but then you get burned.  Over and over again, there's no end in sight.  You take precautions, look for signs, but the heat keeps coming.

This is the life of victims of domestic violence.  Whether they stay or get out of an abusive relationship, this is how they live.  They're constantly on guard, protecting themselves and their children from the heat, which takes many forms.  They need endurance and strength to last the grueling path they've chosen.  There are hills and valleys, streams and rivers, numerous obstacles waiting to trip them up or become pinnacles of success.

Well meaning individuals try to help.  Some say the right thing for a time, a cheerleader of sorts, but soon they become weary of the race.  Others cause more pain with words seeded in ignorance.  They only add baggage to already weakened shoulders.  A ray of hope may shine brightly for a moment causing a burst of energy, but it doesn't last long.  A buffer may present itself to protect from the heat, but the heat is too intense.  Sooner or later the buffer gets burned.  Everyone thinks the know how to avoid the pain, they have all the answers, but in the end a victim knows this is their life, their race.

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