Praising God in the Storm

Storm at Sunset

My son asked me to stay for awhile when I tucked him in for bed last night.  I hesitated as the picture of dirty dishes filling my sink and other chores came to mind.  It wasn't a hard decision to slide in and spend a moment with him.

We cuddled, talked, prayed, and listened to the radio as he slowly drifted to sleep.  Every night he chooses between a tape of classical music, or his favorite Christian radio station.  I am so blessed by his love for music. 

Music has always been a part of my life.  Both of my parents instilled in me a love for music.  The emotions and feelings that are stirred by beautiful lyrics, or by an instrumental piece.  I have always been able to slip the cares and worries off my shoulders while listening to music.  It is easier to count my blessings when the everyday is lifted away.

My sister returned to her home in Oklahoma over a week ago.  I miss her comforting presence.  For five years I have felt alone and completely responsible for the care of my mother.  While my sister was here the burden was shared.  Then I remembered what my son said after the third day of her visit.

"Auntie is a miracle, isn't she mom?"

It was more a statement than a question.  She is my oldest sister.  I have always looked to her for wise council and strength.  She is not perfect, but her patience, love, humility, and wisdom always fill me with wonder.  Her ability to be calm in a storm amazes me.

Halfway through the second day she admitted to being overwhelmed by our circumstances.  The fatigue and exhaustion was clearly etched on my face.  The mother she once knew is gone, replaced by a bitter, angry, defeated woman.  I know it broke her heart, and the concern for my health and happiness was in the forefront of our conversations.

What do children of an aging parent do when faced with this situation?  Would my mother be better off in a nursing home?  Would she get the care and attention she needed, or would she get worse?  Is the daily stress and tension on me worth it?  I have worked so hard at helping my mother, it doesn't seem the right time to give up yet.  Is it "giving up" to say enough is enough?

We discussed options and possible issues.  We looked at a nursing home, and debated the pros and cons.  We prayed, and in the end decided to let go and let God.  My sister can't force me to make a decision, but she will assist me any way she can.  At least now she has a better picture of what our life is like, I have the support I desperately needed, and together we can do what's best for our mother.

I fell asleep while cuddling with my son.  It took an elbow to my brow to remind me of the chores waiting for me.  As I was gently extracting myself from the comfort of my son's warmth I listened to this song on the radio.  A smile slowly made its way across my face, and the tears ran down my cheeks.

When the song was over I stayed for one more minute, counting my blessings and praising God in the storm.