The Quest for Character continues...

My sister was visiting from out of town.  At the time I was living with my mother, caring for her, and my sister's visit was a much needed reprieve from the full responsibilities of her care.  I had not been fully aware of the physical toll it was having on me until a spur of the moment trip to the grocery store and the incident that followed opened my eyes.

Upon entering the store with my sister by my side, I stumbled over one of those brilliant signs they use to warn customers of danger.  My reaction was to look back at the offending obstacle and wonder why I hadn't seen it.  I knew I was tired, but really who could miss that bright yellow sign?

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New Design for Living Waters

LeAnn at Living Waters won a blog redesign, and I am thrilled to unveil her new look.

Here is the before:

And here is her new header.

Go over and check it out for yourself.  Here's her new button.

The Mom Pledge

Want to take the pledge?  Click here.

1. "I am a proud Mommy Blogger. I will conduct myself with integrity in all my blogging activities. I can lead by example." What does integrity mean to you?

Answer:  Having a moral standard and adhering to it no matter the cost.

I began blogging after our first year of homeschooling.  It was amazing how many homeschoolers were looking for advice and help.  I started a series of posts, and was humbled by the number of visitors who came to read them.  Not being an expert, it was wonderful to have others comment and share on my posts.  I was learning from them too.  But I felt conflicted with my choice of curriculum.

We were using secular curriculum, and although I had been adjusting it to our beliefs, my son and I knew we had to make a change.  He no longer was excited about the work.  There was constant discussion about the correctness of the principles that conflicted with our Christian teaching.  In an effort to gain integrity in our homeschool I began searching for a faith-based curriculum.

Since then I have seen my readership decline, but I'm ok with that.  What I'm not ok with is my inability to find a niche again.  There has been an increase in spiritual awareness on my part, and my posts and the visitors to my blog reflect that change.  This awareness has created a feeling of disconnection from my homeschool focus.

As far as our homeschool curriculum, I've been privileged to win quite a bit of free curriculum, I've researched different methods, I've read hundreds of reviews, and I've tried many of the recommendations made by my blogging friends.  One example is TimezAttack.   I thought this was an answer to prayer, but after ten minutes my son was frustrated and in tears.  After trying many other outstanding resources and failing I came to one conclusion, what works for so many just won't work for my son.

Our homeschool curriculum is a little bit of this and a little bit of that.  We use a mix of new and classical texts, and a hands-on, old fashioned, somewhat Charlotte Mason approach.  Of course this has created more work for me, and there are times when I feel like we're on an island.

I'm also realizing this method requires an extended commitment that quite frankly scares me. It's like when you get engaged or pregnant, for a split second you feel overwhelmed and question whether you're truly prepared.  Or when you're about to make a major business or life decision and it dawns on you that failure could happen.  Standing strong in your convictions and decisions...

That's what integrity means to me!

One step forward, two steps back...

"It's 3 am and I've been sitting in front of this computer wondering what I'm doing still awake.  I spent a couple of hours studying, another hour or two writing an article for one site while thinking about and then posting at another.  I promised myself I'd start going to bed at a decent hour... "

That was a conversation I had with myself last week. Since then I've tried to write a post about it and finally gave up. Then after four days of disparaging myself for not living up to my own expectations I've come to one conclusion.  The writer/blogger in me is going to put up a fight. Not one to give in, I just stopped writing altogether.

I surfed the blogosphere, signed up at Pinterest (still debating if that was a good idea, but wow what an amazing site), and yesterday I spent the day looking over some homeschool resources to add to my list of possibilities for next year.  Today I emerge with a somewhat wary sense of my objective.

Of course I could also blame one of my bloggy friends for throwing me a curve ball last week and my son's father for making life so comical (sarcasm) that sent me into a spiritual and emotional upheaval, but then I can't blame someone else for my inability to concentrate.

I read Oh Mandie about needing a compass and could completely relate.  Then Julie's post reminded me of my extensive prayer list for bloggy friends and how I'm mentally involved in their lives, and I had a moment of thoughtful awakening.  Taking two steps back isn't such a bad thing, and maybe it needs to happen more often.

Some of you may be saying, "Seriously, where is Lynda going with this one?"  To be honest I have no idea, but since I have all of 2012 to "organize" my life, I'm taking my own sweet time about doin' it.

One bit of information for all those who work with me closely ~ I'm paring down.  A couple of weeks ago I was accepted to join the TOS Review Crew.  HUGE honor, right?  But I had to say no.  In fact it kind of broke my heart to say no, but it was the right thing for me at this time.  If you'd be interested contact Kate Kessler, the Product Reviews Manager.

Some other changes:

I discontinued the Create in Me a Clean Heart challenge.  I thought this would be a way of keeping myself accountable for my decluttering and cleaning goals, but it became more of a distraction.  I am personally continuing the Devotional for the Disorganized, but now it's between the Lord and I.  Hopefully all those who were joining me will understand, and you are all still on my prayer list.

I'm a little behind on the Zone Defense, but not too far.  Hopefully slowing down in other areas will enable me to focus on this.  There are days where one step forward, two steps back is not a good thing.  As everyone knows housework is never ending.  I'm thinking it's all in my attitude, and my understanding of the real problem.  Answer me this, an empty bookshelf is easy to clean, but I love books.  Is it me or is there something I'm missing, and no little sister I'm not throwing my books out.

My son made a breakthrough with math this week.  Amazing how things just seem to click when you least expect it.  And last but not least, tomorrow I'll be installing LeAnn's new design.  So excited for her!

A few notes (and links) to myself:

Remember when you were going to make a blogging schedule?  (Read about it on Ashley's post, Day Twelve.)  No, didn't think so!  Consider this your kick in the tail!!!

Here are few reminders ~
Editorial Calendar
Make a schedule that works
Focus, focus, focus!
This isn't a race, but a marathon.
Blogging is not the problem, your focus is.

By the way, I link up.

Photo Credit:

Happy Valentine's Day!

 "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

  Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

  And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13 (NIV)